In fact, I am sure that women who seek perfection to an obsessive level in any and all aspects of their lives will never be completely happy. Let's differentiate: seeking excellence and trying to do things well (a good trait) is not the same as obsessively pursuing perfection at all levels to the point that a small stain on a tablecloth or a chair that is not in its place drives us crazy (definitely a bad trait, and possibly an obsessive-compulsive pathology).
Walter Riso says in his article The obsession of wanting to do everything right Of all personal rights, the most important is the right to make mistakes. It takes a lot of courage, self-confidence and self-respect to accept mistakes with dignity, without excuses and without playing the victim.
Walter Riso says, and if there is anyone who really knows about this subject, it is him:
- The paradox of the case is that, in many cases, extreme perfectionism leads to an increase in the number of errors: It sounds contradictory, but it's because the greater the need to achieve an ideal result (at home, at work, with your family), the more anxiety and fear of failure there is. And as has been shown, tension and fear hinder performance at any level; memory, decision-making, and strategic thinking are affected by unnecessary adrenaline.
- Our universal tendency to screw up makes us delightfully human and thankfully imperfect: Again, it's not about being careless or uncaring, it's about understanding that, on a psychological level, things don't have to be perfect to be useful (and useful well) and that excessive rigidity and obsessions with perfection are not at all advisable for a peaceful and calm life. It brings you problems with everyone around you and especially with yourself, because you yourself are your harshest critic.
- Finally, you don't have to see life in black and white, as all or nothing, good or bad: You may be missing the grays that are the ones that really matter and are relevant in your life. By seeing the trees, you are missing the forest. If you relax, accept, adapt, you will be able to enjoy a lot of things that you didn't even see before or considered imperfect. Those things that used to mortify you, are the ones that could make you happy today.