Is Perfection your Goal? Reconsider it. It Could Make You Unhappy
In fact, I'm convinced that women who seek perfection to an obsessive level in any and all aspects of their lives will never be completely happy. Let's see the difference: it's not the same to look for excellence and try to do things well (a good feature) than to search obsessively for perfection at all levels to such a degree that a small stain on a tablecloth or a misplaced chair drives us crazy (definitely a bad feature, and possibly an obsessive-compulsive pathology).
Walter Riso claims in his article The obsession of wanting to do everything well that, out of all our rights, the most important is the right to make mistakes. You need a lot of courage, self-confidence, and self-love to gracefully accept your mistakes, without making excuses or victimizing yourself.
Walter Riso is someone who really knows about this topic, and he claims that:
- Paradoxically, in many cases, extreme perfectionism leads to more mistakes: It sounds contradictory, but this happens because the greater the need to get an ideal result (at home, work, with your family), the more anxiety and fear of failure. And it's been proven that tension and fear hinder performance at any level: memory, decision making, and strategic thinking are affected by unnecessary adrenaline.
- Our universal tendency to screw up makes us deliciously human and fortunately imperfect: Again, it's not about being neglectful or careless, it's about understanding that, psychologically, not everything needs to be perfect to work (and work well) and that excessive inflexibility and obsession with perfection isn't at all advisable for a peaceful quiet life. It causes problems with those around you and especially with yourself because you're your harshest critic.
- Finally, you don't have to see life as black or white, everything or nothing, good or bad: You may be missing the grays, which are the ones that really matter, and the most important in your life. By looking at the tree, you're missing the forest. If you relax, accept, and adapt, you can be enjoy a lot of things that you didn't even see or considered imperfect before. Those things that used to mortify you are the ones that could make you happy today.