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Sexual incompatibility in the couple: what to do

by Laura Posada on January 20, 2023

Sex is not everything in a couple, but it is an important part of the relationship. If a couple does not understand each other in bed, even though they love each other very much, this will produce dissatisfaction and frustration that sooner or later, but invariably, will end up affecting the relationship as a whole, with the possibility of ending it forever.

Among the main causes of incompatibility can be found: different tastes or sexual times (different libidos), discrepancy in the size of the genitals (very large or very small) that can cause painful or unsatisfactory intercourse, premature ejaculation, among others. Similarly, a couple that only bases their relationship on sex, lacking everything else, love, coexistence, intimacy, understanding, support, solidarity, fidelity, is unlikely to survive. Therefore, there must be a balance.

Now, if you consider that you and your partner are incompatible in any sexual aspect, I recommend that you communicate openly with him/her, without prejudice or recrimination, and talk about it. In this conversation, the following questions can be asked: do we want to have sex with the same frequency? Do we like the same thing in bed? Am I open to trying things that my partner likes, even if they don't call me attention? It is not easy, there will be things that they will have to negotiate, just make sure that both parties are satisfied with what was agreed.

If you need more help, do not hesitate to consult with a therapist or sexologist, who can, as an impartial and objective party, give you the necessary tools to improve your sexual relations and with it, your relationship in general. I always emphasize that when we cannot solve something on our own, the best thing we can do is ask for help from someone who is an expert and knowledgeable about the subject. Don't be ashamed, anything you do to save a relationship you want to keep will be worth it.

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